Friday, 8 January 2021

Stumbled onto 2021 (I had to)

 


Lovely. I am not entirely sure what we all expected to happen with this miniscule numerical change in our calendars, but granted it did not. Here’s hoping for a much better 2021, dare I say a good 2021, and thinking back on this era simply as the time that Zoom gave everyone unlimited time for meetings regardless of whether you are using the free version or not.

Well, week one has been eventful. Covid clearly had a couple of new year’s resolutions; making itself more transmissive (otherwise thought of as ‘communicative’), lethal (otherwise thought of as ‘effective’) and focused on preventing us from socialising (otherwise thought of as focused on ‘self-love, you know?’). This most likely means that official criteria for alcoholism will need to permanently exclude ‘Drinking alone at home and sobbing’. Is there any other way that’s legal, after all? Let’s all be grateful to our blackheads for providing sufficient entertainment when we need a break from our screens and eyebrow plucking for when you need to experience some pain just to feel alive. If case numbers following the holidays are any indication of how the next few weeks will go, I think I will continue to consider washing my hair a ritual and Netflix partying with my friends as a frantic social life. Friends, if you are reading this, I love our Netflix parties. Everyone else, check out Netflix parties; I feel that for its relevance in our day and age, it is not as popular as it should be.

The last paragraph might seem a little more passive aggressive than usual but, as I said, this week has been eventful. I try to steer off politics in this blog, but sometimes they affect our lives so much that it is difficult to refrain. Sometimes developments are so substantial and fast paced that they leave you with a clear feeling of emptiness. I am of course referring to Bridgerton being only eight episodes long! What the fuck, Netflix? We have all, for some reason, accepted that we will no longer get 24 episodes per season and opt for ten, as the English do, supposedly trading off quantity for quality. But do you mean to tell me that you thought Bridgeton’s quality was so substantial that it allowed for a further reduction to eight episodes? Seven, if we take into account that one episode was less about plot and more an homage to the porn industry. This is ‘The Crown’s doing! They feared the competition from this Jane Austen-esque adaptation of Gossip Girl, seeing as they didn’t have a mysterious Lady Featherington to narrate their own drama. Plus, they also lack of suspense as most of us know how things will end in ‘The Crown’; Charles and Di realise Camilla is a ridiculous name and live happily ever after, with perhaps few sorrows such as when their son, Harry, married a non-royal, Greek psychology student with shape-shifting superpowers and a very successful blog on pop culture.

Other less important news of the week regard the Greek government succumbing to the Church’s adolescent demands that lockdown be lifted, so that they can have their corona party as the lord would please. If anyone outside Greece is reading this, the government prohibited religious services to take place in order to avoid contamination, priests replied ‘Tell me about it, stud’ wearing a leather two piece, stumping on a cigarette bud and went ahead with their business as usual. Then, nothing else happened. A couple of police officers showed up, but only to get the priests’ blessing, like the good Christians they are. (Fun note: I wrote ‘policemen’ and Word suggested ‘police officers’ instead. Thank you Word.) We would have been more shocked by this inactiveness had that not been the day that Trump protesters stormed the Capitol in Washington wearing Viking costumes to overturn the election results with the power of ‘The Selfie’. I am wrongfully making light of a situation that resulted in five deaths and probably more as I am assuming did not help with the spread of the virus. Although I have to say, for the obviously brain-washed idiots that hope to overturn the election in hope of getting a chance to actually shoot bleach up their veins, a couple of them were actually  wearing masks. Interesting. I just want to say, here in Greece we undermined democracy, law and order long before America did. Well, hours, but still. Credit where credit is due.

I had a nice post written up about struggling to commit to any new series and binging movies instead. I don’t want to spoil anything, but ultimately I realised I was full of crap and spend way too much time watching stuff anyway. I had another one on Twilight, again spoiler alert, Twilight was full of crap too! But I couldn’t imagine posting either and not feeling out of touch, so I whipped this up, exposed my superficial understanding of news and politics and publicly admitted to watching all of Bridgerton in less than two days. Or had I not done that up to now? Did I have readers believe I casually watched it when I wanted to unwind from, I don’t know, ‘The Sopranos’? Anyway. Once again here’s to a better, healthier, more prolific 2021 and here is to less embarrassing posts than this one.

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