‘Stumbled onto 2021’ is the most appropriate title for this
post, considering the current global situation. I know we are all in a rush for
2021, but God knows we are in no form to run or walk towards it. We will be
lucky if we get there in one piece. I haven’t done too many of these lists, I
like to think; I did one for when I turned 25 because it felt like a landmark
at the time. It wasn’t. Everything was pretty much similar to 24. However, I am
hoping to follow through with this list and this doubles as a future
retrospective post for when I have once again run out of ideas. So perhaps my
first new year’s resolution is to adopt a more practical tactical brilliance
and I can cross it off the list immediately.
Reduce the ‘Hamilton’
I made the mistake of watching Hamilton in July, when it
premiered on Disney plus. Yes, a mistake! I know it is amazing; the music, the
story, the visuals, the characters, the performances. It is spotless. But also,
addictive. We are a group of four friends, let me rephrase that, ENABLERS, that
will drop Hamilton references into every conversation, break into song with
every opportunity and cry unprompted when people count from one to ten in
French. And worst part about it is the breaking into song, because Hamilton, in
case you weren’t aware, is a hip-hop musical. And we are white girls that
cannot rap. But we don’t let that stop us from attempting Guns and Ships in
0.0025 the speed. It’s been almost six months that I have hardly listened to any
music other than Hamilton, scored in the top 15% of their listeners on Spotify
and I wasn’t even the highest one of the bunch. This is the moment for this Hamilton
obsession to end. Scratch that, this is not a moment, it’s a movement. Oh,
crap.
Get a PhD
This may sound like an overly optimistic resolution in
general, but I am three and a half years in and ready to burst. I need to move
on. But for this plan to succeed, there is something else I need. I need to get
the fancy piece of paper that will restitute my time, sanity and honour.
Problem is, ideally that fancy piece of paper would lead to a job that would
once again revolve around a topic I no longer want to look at, but if push
comes to shove I will use it as nothing more than a handkerchief for my tears.
Either way, it will not go to waste. In other words, for the new year, I can
hope to ignore this blog, TV shows, YouTube and joy in general (Lord, show me
how to say no to these) and focus on my good friends, Microsoft Word, SPSS and
Matlab. I don’t know why I put a resolution doomed to fail so high up on the
list.
Stop ignoring my alarm clock
I am an anxious person. Anxiety is my fuel. Unfortunately,
that has one downside. Okay, that has a million downsides, but the one I am
preoccupied with at this moment is that in absence of an anxiety provoking
factor, I will snooze a couple of times, eventually shut off my alarm clock and
lie in wait, falling behind and running late. And there’s a million things I
haven’t done, hours to take advantage of, resolutions to… resolute. It’s not
even a case of being sleep deprived; I sleep for seven or eight hours for
energy restoration and the continue sleeping recreationally. And then my back hurts,
that is how much I sleep.
Do a whole vegan month
I have managed a vegan diet for a maximum of 22 days. I
think it is high time I add the extra eight days to that number and have a
whole month of regular poop. Because that’s what happens when you are a vegan.
You poop. And if you don’t know, now you know. Veganism is a difficult task for
me, being young, scrappy and hungry, but I like my vegan months; they work well
as a detox and they also effectively spice up my diet. I am now a regular
consumer of dark chocolate, which I wasn’t, and frequently snack on green
apples with peanut butter, which I didn’t. It also very effectively confuses my
dad, which is fun, if anything, to watch. Never have I ever seen a man so embarrassed
to bring his daughter to a steakhouse and have her eat couscous and mushrooms. NO
CHEESE. Left him with nothing but ruined pride, something new inside.
Allow myself to leave a series incomplete
A series of books, as of late. I started reading the ‘His
Dark Materials’ trilogy in order to watch the corresponding BBC series. They
are a very nice collection of books. If you are a teenager. If you have come of
age with young Lyra. If you are an adult catching up on Pullman’s cultural
effect, it is impossible to follow. The plan was to read a total of three
books, the work divided evenly among the three summer months. In the end, I
read two books in the span of six months (this reference is so subtle, it leans
more towards plagiarism). The reason it has taken so long is that I have
abandoned reading as a result of this painfully obvious religious allegory. And
friends who care for me have instructed me to let it go. As a gesture. And
perhaps then I can let other things go. Like a sunblock that has accidentally been
infused with sand, or a movie like Seven Years in Tibet, when it becomes
apparent that Brad Pitt’s blue eyes can make a movie only so interesting. This
resolution is mostly a leeway to my next new year’s resolution; I want to read
at least twelve books throughout the year. And I am not throwing away my shot.
Read at least twelve books
None of which will be ‘The Amber Spyglass’. But I won’t name
the rest. I will keep all my plans close to my chest and see which way the wind
will blow.
Catch up on my podcasts
Lockdown has taken a toll on everyone. In my case, I have
seriously fallen behind on my podcasts. And I love my podcasts; they are my
largest supply of Conan O’Brien and fun facts to annoy my friends with. And a
good way to distance myself from the musical that shall not be named. I would
listen to podcasts in one of two occasions; either when I was travelling places
or running on the treadmill. Obviously, lockdown has interfered with both as we
are not allowed to travel anywhere much and I have lost the will to act. I
imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.
Seriously, reduce the Hamilton
If this post is any indication, the situation is fraught, I
need to be carefully taught. Oh, not again. I am helpless.
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