Stumbled onto a series halt

 I never thought this day would come. Τhe past few years I have implemented a regime for maximum series-watching efficiency, comprised of one drama series and one comedy series running at the same time. It is a good regime, because sometimes you need a good plot to motivate you and other times you need no special motivation because comedy series are awesome. I rarely watch drama series more than once, because their whole point is either said plot or emotional scarring. And we rarely need a reprise of either. Comedies, as you may have gathered, I rewatch constantly, so much so that I have to actively limit myself to one rewatch per year. Otherwise, I wouldn’t watch anything new; I would be perfectly content mouthing Dr Cox’s rants for eight seasons straight (season 9 doesn’t count). I have so many series lined up to catch up on; Euphoria, the Queen’s Gambit, Newsroom, Broadchurch etc. I even considered giving Girls another try; an unsuccessful attempt to watch Lena Dunham for more than three minutes without wanting to punch her in the face. I feel like such a disgrace to feminists for even saying that. Nothing seems to get me interested and even worse, the last thing that got me interested was Bridgerton. I really am a disgrace to feminists. I have started watching movies instead and rewatching the Twilight saga (an upcoming post on that) just because I cannot take the commitment of a whole new series.

I think there are a couple of reasons I can identify for this unexpected indifference to series. First of all, I am being a bit overdramatic and misleading. The truth is that despite having already watched Frasier, my one permitted rewatch of the year, I have semi begun rewatching Scrubs. The above reference to Dr Cox’s rants might have been a tip off. So I am watching a series. I simply have not yet indulged in a drama series because, well, isn’t life dramatic enough? I don’t want to hear about anyone’s misfortunes if it isn’t followed by a punchline. Scrubs is not a commitment because technically I am not watching it. Technically, I sporadically click on random episodes when I need something to play for 20 minutes. Practically, though, I am through the first two seasons. Watched at a random order. It is also not a commitment because I do not need to pay attention all the time; I already know everything. And I mean everything. I know how many syllables Dr Cox’s elongated words consist of. I had been avoiding Scrubs because it being based in a hospital and famously featuring an episode about how easily transmittable diseases are, I thought it hit a little too close to home. However, once again, the goofiness has won me over and I have given in to this fantasy-filled hospital tale. I really hope that is not how they treat Covid patients in real hospitals.

The other reason I have not yet committed to a series is the return of late night. Their commentary on current events is an additional 30 minutes to an hour per day that I spend on YouTube keeping up to date with the current season of USA. A reasonable person might wonder; why spend so much time listening to comedians discuss another country’s news? Because they do it so well. Because Seth Meyers looks like he is having the time of his life, Colbert has such a talented team of writers and Conan is such a showman that he could recite the periodic board and it would still be hilarious. Plus the material is funny to begin with; ridiculous, but ridiculous is funny. And funny is just so much harder to let go of. That is why Jimmy Fallon’s show is so easy to let go off. That was unnecessary.

The last reason I am choosing movies over series is the pressure of the Oscars. Nominations are not out yet but they should be soon and due to Covid we will all be behind on our lists. We all have these lists, right? We all plan to stay awake for the ceremony, create Oscar pools with our friends and yell ‘The MCU has changed cinema, deal with it’ to Martin Scorcese, right? I am basically being proactive here, making sure that there is space for me to watch all the top contenders, once we know which ones they are, and therefore continue to falsely predict the awards (see last year’s predictions). It is all done in the name of this blog. Although I am, in this way sabotaging myself for the Emmy’s. How do people live balanced, social lives with all this screentime to cover? I won’t take any criticism for my love of anything streamable; I am saving lives as we speak! Imaging if I enjoyed spiting on people instead. Be grateful.

I am just in a bit of a slump. I will eventually watch His Dark Materials now that I have decided to give up on the books (see 2021 New Year’s resolution. Wow, this post almost needs an appendix) and enjoy the beautiful sight of James McAvoy. I just need to get to a mindset where watching series won’t be a burden. In the time being, I am covering gaps in my pop culture upbringing by watching The Social Network, Django Unchained and random Indiana Jones movies. All great so far. And I have one more thing to get off my chest. I might have rewatched a lot of the MCU this year. But as they are films they don’t count. I might have also since the writing of this post (which was postponed) watched another season of Scrubs. I can now sing all of the ‘My Musical’ episode. Everything DOES come down to poo.