Stumbled onto ‘Cruella’

 

De Vil. The most villainous of villains in 2021. I mean who dreams of real fur, let alone made from adorable Dalmatian puppies? On the other hand, seeing as one family has ended up with 101 of said puppies, it might be that Dalmatians are overpopulating the earth and Cruella was sort of acting within the rights of hunting season to protect the ecosystem. Being ethically conscious can be confusing; should we start murdering puppies?

Cruella is Disney’s latest trailer for a remake. Disney is making live action films out of everything nostalgic, with creative twists that have not necessarily gone well. Mulan was such an attempt, where the live action film stripped the original of all its fun and Eddie Murphy-ness and opted for a traditionally accurate narration of Mulan’s tale that doesn’t belong to the Disney Classics volume. Don’t they know we all primarily watch the movie for the ‘Be a Man’ soundtrack? Then come the origin stories. They made one for Maleficent, which even got a sequel (I am very unsure how that even works) with Angelina Jolie’s beautiful, accentuated cheekbones. And that was one of the most unnecessary movies ever. From what I remember, she loved the king, he broke up with her so she cursed his daughter to die young, but then spent time with the daughter and changed her mind about the murdering and therefore renounced her title of ‘Craziest Ex-Girlfriend to Feature in a Children’s Tale’. There was also another strange bit, where, as in the original, she included a clause about true love breaking the curse, but this time round instead of the love interest, Prince Charming I suppose, she was the one with the magic kiss. The Godmother (yes, this time round she was also the Godmother). We are straight up prepping children for toxic relationships it seems. Twilight be damned; get them when they are young. I have no idea what happens in the prequel-sequel, as Sleeping Beauty (or Aurora) has already been born, raised, stung, essentially chloroformed and resurrected by an unconsented romantic action from a trusted family member by the end of the first prequel.

I have a theory about why Maleficent was not salvaged by Angelina Jolie’s beautiful eyes, lips, perfectly squared face etc (I have a girl-crush, so what?). It is because they tried to give a backstory to a villain that was created with no backstory in mind. She was made to be pure evil, with no justification, so no justification could make her less evil. She wanted a baby dead; she didn’t find out she had cancer and wanted to financially ensure her family during the cancer treatment and after her possible death. So no, I don’t care if the king was a dick; she is not redeemed.

Same with Cruella, is what I am getting at. Three paragraphs in. I do not know that we need a backstory. Consider that Maleficent didn’t work, even though we have all thought of killing babies on long transatlantic flights; nobody has ever thought to kill a puppy. Their barks are just so much more suited for the human ear. I hope they will not try to justify De Ville’s killing motives, because that is a lost cause, but instead show her decay into madness with a bit of welcome, vaudeville essence. I love Emma Stone and she looks great in the trailer, but there was just a tiny bit of resemblance with 2016’s ‘Suicide Squad’ Harley Quinn aesthetic too. So, do we need this? Did we need that? Bear in mind this is like Disney copying the DCEU, copying the MCU. IS ZACK SNYDER DIRECTING THIS?

Origin stories seem like a good idea that keeps failing, even when we, the audience, were begging for them. Wolverine’s origin story was ridiculous, which we all thought could not happen as long as Hugh Jackman said the word ‘Bub’ once in a while. The Joker’s origin story was dramatic and juvenile, which I understand is not a universal opinion, but as ruler of this blog I declare it so. Kung Island, Catwoman, Prometheus, Dracula Untold, The Mummy; I don’t know that we need to follow all these villains’ backstories and it does not seem to work as a formula. Not in Hollywood blockbuster capacity anyway. Let’s spend some time marvelling over my apparent epiphany, before realising that this is a selective list of villains’ origin stories that went bad to prove my point. It was good while it lasted, wasn’t it? Also, for those that will come after me for including Wolverine in an otherwise villainous list, bear in mind that Wolverine was originally introduced as a villain in the X-Men comics sent by Magneto in an undercover mission to assassinate Xavier. In one of the storyline anyways. He was just too awesome a character to be a mere pawn in a mutant chess match.

I know antiheroes are all the rage, and they are so much more interesting than good, ethical knights in white armour, but they can’t be necessarily squeezed out of traditional, and let’s face it, oversimplified stories that had a single, straightforward point for little kids to understand. I am not saying it’s not worth a try, but original, complex storytelling seems like a better way to go. You will notice that the aforementioned (subtly so) Walter White storyline was not the origin story of Hades from Disney’s Hercules, even if they are both bald and sexy.

Cruella is another trailer I have drawn too many, unjustified conclusions from, coming to an end. But honestly, don’t we all feel that Disney is better off with original stories? Hell, even Frozen.