It is that time of year. The time of year that I go to the cinema two times a week and adjust my sleeping schedule so I can pull through the Oscar’s ceremony. It is a wonderful time; Hollywood’s finest make beautiful movies for me to forget my troubles and at the same time stress out as I feel the need to watch all of them before February 9th. And for some reason Parasite showtimes begin three days before the ceremony! How does the industry intend to fight movie piracy with these sorts of schedules? Anyway as so many have done before, I have decided to do my Oscar predictions/wishlist/unnecessary commentary. Because why should the fact that I am in no position to judge stop me when it hasn’t done so already?
Writing (original screenplay)
The fight is between Knives Out, Marriage Story, 1917, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (OUT, from now on) and Parasite. This moment in the post is when I realise that Jojo Rabbit is an adapted screenplay and I, therefore, care about this category a little bit less. Sure Knives Out was hilarious, Marriage Story was depressing, 1917 was wonderfully directed but I think the real fight is between American fun gore and Korean cinema. I am currently hoping for Tarantino’s love letter to Hollywood, just because I haven’t watched the other one. This may change tonight when I actually manage to watch Parasite. You don’t get this kind of well-founded predictions on Rotten Tomatoes.
Writing (adapted screenplay)
I won’t waste time writing out the nominations; it is essentially all the movies that are nominated but not in the original screenplay category. I also won’t spend time spelling them out because there is only one true winner and that is Jojo Rabbit. No other movie was as whole, as funny, heart breaking and significant. It is a shame I am not even mentioning the rest of the movies because they were quite good.
Visual effects
This is the category that will bring a bit of justice to the MCU. This is the award that will make Scorcese with his ridiculous (nominated) age technology look up at the Avengers: Endgame team and say ‘I should have hired these guys to make DeNiro 30 years younger for more than half the movie, for a movie that I could have, frankly, made 30 years ago and would then not need this technology. But instead, I preferred to have DeNiro kick another actor as if he didn’t have arthritis, when he so very obviously did’. I mean it’s not a great amount of justice, considering this is a technical award, but if I am being fair, even though I love my superheroes, it’s not as if they could have competed in any other categories. We’ll take what we can get.
Sound mixing
No idea what I am meant to be predicting here, so…1917? All these bomb sounds must have been hard to make. Is this what this award is about? I think I shouldn’t be writing this post at all.
Sound editing
Oh, maybe this is where the bomb sounds really matter. I don’t know, let’s say OUT, because I think it is a good acronym and I was looking forward to using it. Metacritic can eat my dust.
Short film (live action)
Don’t know. Saria’s poster looks nice. Let’s go with that. Nonetheless I will write all the names because I feel guilty, Brotherhood, NEfta Football Club, The Neighbours Widow and A Sister.
Short film (animated)
Again, as I am a shithead that hasn’t watched any of these because they are not part of my pop culture, let me make up for it by writing them up; Dcera, Hair Love, Kitbull, Memorable and Sister. I am going to blindly bet on Memorable or Dcera, because the posters did something for me. I promise to watch the winner.
Production Design
That should go to 1917, because it is obviously a feat to shoot this movie successfully. I think 1917 will definitely win in this category. Yes. I am confident it will. Am I betting money on it? No. Again, this is a very unintelligible post, nobody should bet money on anything written here.
Music (original song)
If the Frozen 2 song wins, I’ll be very pissed. It has been so many years since the first Frozen movie and we all still break into song whenever Let it Go is playing. I can’t hold it back anymore. I don't care what they're going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.
Music (Original score)
We have the Joker, Little Women, Marriage Story, 1917 and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. And the Emmy should go to Sex Education. I know, I know, I just wanted to comment on how good the music is in Season 2. But this is one category I would like to see the Joker win. Nice music, very fitting and Joaquin seemed to like it too; the man couldn’t stop dancing.
Makeup and Hair
Unpopular opinion: Bombshell. First of all, because I don’t think they will win anything else. Second of all, because I don’t know how they made Charlize Theron look like that without it being a period piece or without clown make up. And of course for John Lithgow’s annual fat suit.
International Feature Film
Corpus Christi, Honeyland, Les Miserables, Pain and Glory and Parasite. If there is one category that has an obvious winner, it is this one. It is not even worth speculating, Parasite will win. It would be fun to watch a foreign film win Best Picture as well, make up for Roma losing to Green Book last year.
Film editing
Once again I think this is an award for 1917. It looked like a single-shot film, the editing was seamless.
Documentary (short subject and feature)
I can’t even pretend. Leave a comment if you know anything about this.
Costume Design
I will chose Little Women, because I loved that movie and I realised I haven’t chosen it for anything else and I know Greta Gerwig is desperate for my approval.
Cinematography
We are getting closer and closer to the big ones. Once again this will be Roger Deakins and 1917. I would also like to see The Lighthouse win as it would be worthy of the title. That shit was haunting. Other honourable contenders that I don’t think stand a chance, however, are The Irishman, Joker and OUT. Acronym is still paying off.
Animated Feature Film
The good thing with this one is that Frozen 2 is not nominated for this category and it feels like, with animated movies, we will all be happy with whichever one wins. I am personally rooting for Toy Story 4, because the nostalgia manipulation works on me and I will always support the movies relating to my childhood.
Actress in a Supporting Role
Everyone says it will be Laura Dern. I mean she has won all the awards up to now. She was very good, very unlikeable; two very contradicting statements. But I really want Scarlett Johansson for Jojo Rabbit! Please, pretty please. I am sure Laura Dern won’t mind. I will stick to my guns and hope for Scarlett. She was all the things, the actor things. All of them.
Actor in a Supporting Role
Slam dunk. It has to be Brad Pitt. It will be. Tom Hanks is surely lovely in this movie I will not watch, Anthony Hopkins was a great Pope (in the sense that he was convincing), Al Pacino and Joe Pesci were also very good as expected (I could have done with less of them, though) but Brad Pitt and his abs were revolutionary. I forgot how cool Brad Pitt is, how funny, how organic and his acceptance speeches have been great, I could do with one more.
Actress in a Leading Role
Now, I don’t want to shock anyone when I say that I want Scarlett Johansson to win. If she wins for Jojo Rabbit I will take Renee Zelweger’s win less to heart. She might be good, but no way am I watching another biopic, especially one I don’t care about. I am happy she got the BAFTA just because we got that Bridget Jones remark from Hugh Grant. Well done, Jones, indeed. I am not giving up! Scarlett will walk out of that theatre with an Oscar, even if I have to run there, steal one and give it to her.
Actor in a Leading Role
This is another one which I know will disappoint me. I know, we all know, it will be Joaquin Phoenix. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve it; it’s mostly that it was so set up to go that way, so forced, so intense, such a clickbait. Whereas Adam Driver gave such a discreet, loving, desperate, broken performance. Jonathan Pryce, Robert DeNiro and Leonardo DiCaprio are honoured just to be nominated, of course. This is an excellence-packed year, I’ll give them that.
Directing
A quick recap. Italian Mafia guy, Guy from Hangover, British guy, Foot Fetish guy and Bong Joon Ho (I haven’t seen the movie, I don’t know what to call him yet). I think it will be Sam Mendes and well deserved, that was one impressive movie. I hate feet, but would still like to see their biggest fan go up on that stage. But ultimately, Sam Mendes did something very innovative and I think it will be him. Or Bong Joon Ho. I should have written this post literally six hours later, when I will have seen Parasite, I don’t know why I didn’t just wait.
And here it is…
Best Picture
The Holy Grail. The endgame (had to be done). Some of the already mentioned movies are competing, The Irishman, Jojo Rabbit, Joker, Little Women, Marriage Story, 1917, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and Parasite, with the addition of Ford vs. Ferrari. It won’t be Little Women, Marriage Story or Ford vs. Ferrari, although they were all enjoyable and well crafted. I am a reasonable fan; if it is either 1917,OUT or Parasite I will be pleased. If it is The Irishman I will just accept that my self-proclaimed ADHD prevented me from appreciating this three-and-a-half-hour illustrated audiobook. If it is Joker, I will repost my other blog where I become very explicit about all the things that bothered me, and yes that is a threat. For me, the movie that exceeded my already high expectations, the one I loved the most, the one that walked a fine line and came out the better end is Jojo Rabbit. I don’t think I have a single complaint. I laughed, I cried, it was such a relevant film, but such a fun film too. And lastly, I want to see Taika up on that stage for a very personal reason; I want Scorcese to sit there and watch one of the people that became world famous from the MCU, from a movie like Thor, get up on that stage and claim Best Picture. Won’t that be fun?
Okay this was long. If you are still with me and reading this I would like to apologise for a possible bias against The Irishman, I really am trying not to let it manifest. Hope the Oscars on Sunday are fun. If they are not, I will probably write about it.
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