The Oscars are such an amazing time of the year. Each year
there is an insane influx of beautiful films, the resurgence of directors who
do not produce a film per month but instead spend time on their craft,
speculation about Brad Pitt’s love life and unnecessary insults to the MCU. And
that has been the case since the very first ceremony in 1929.
I have been a faithful viewer for the past six or seven
years, which may not sound like a lot but considering they start at 1am on
Sunday night/Monday morning depending on what kind of person you are, I
consider myself a very dedicated viewer. My favourite bit of the Oscars tends
to be the host monologue, the jokes, the performance, the references, the dabs,
the food (!) and I am therefore incredibly annoyed that for two years in a row
they have decided to go hostless. As if the host is equivalent to an animal
product I have given up for stupid Veganuary! This is possibly an unrelated
rant. And in order to top that up, I have read so many articles praising this
decision to go hostless! Practical arguments for the hostless Oscars include
runtime, presenters taking the lead with the bits and the comedy, previous
hosts having been involved in some controversy, some financials that obviously
no one but the people on the Oscars committee cares about. But they are all
missing the point; which is I love hosts.
I don’t necessarily mean Ricky Gervais should bring his
Golden Globes game to the Oscars; let’s be honest, if they could not handle
Kevin Hart’s homophobic tweets from a thousand years ago, no one ever
associated with Gervais could host this thing. But that doesn’t mean no one at
all should host. Jimmy Kimmel and Jon Stewart have previously brought a late
night television vibe to the Oscars, with their ongoing Matt Damon feuds and their
political humour popping up every now and then. I am of course addicted to late
night and therefore have gone back more than once to look up the monologues and
will not rest until the rightful late night host presents the ceremony! Oscar
Wilde was, after all, Irish! Bring out the American Ginger! Apart from personal
preferences, if anyone has the credentials to keep a crowd going for four
hours, or however long the Oscars last, keep good track of the time and
resolve tension when Warren Beatty announces the wrong winner, it is the talk
show hosts! Any one of them would bring some character to the ceremony, at
least the first time round. Apart from Jimmy Fallon. If he ever gets the
Oscars, I will personally fly to New York and burn NBC to the ground. Wheel of
musical impressions, my ass.
It doesn’t even have to be established hosts. Hugh Jackman
brought out his angelic voice and vibrant moves for the ceremony, reminding us
all why ‘Wolverine: Heart Not Made of Adamantium’ is not the Broadway musical
we deserve, but it is the Broadway musical we need. Neil Patrick Harris even
did a semi-decent job with similar props and a catchy song about ‘Moving
Pictures’ (instead of ‘Motion Pictures’, which was a nice touch). Both were a
much more beautiful spectacle than, well, nothingness. I mean Hugh Jackman is a
much more beautiful spectacle than most things. NPH possibly also, but not more
beautiful than Hugh Jackman. Bub.
Of course, not all hosts go down well in history. Not all
hosts do well. But is there anything more enjoyable than the Oscars presented
by Ann Hathaway and James Franco? You are left there trying to trace back the
thought process that led to this pairing. You try to figure out what happened
in rehearsal that did not alert the organisers that this was a mistake. You try
to decide if James Franco was high. And start wondering if this wasn’t all a
plot by Seth Rogen so that he could then be the more popular of the two. Franco
has helped Rogen’s case since then, of course. This ceremony is probably my
favourite, I flourish in awkwardness and cringeworthiness and I am certainly
not the only one. I want them to try and get good hosts, and possibly the
ultimate host whose name rhymes with O’Ryan, but I don’t mind when they mess
up. There is certainly a quote in some culture about trying and failing rather
than not trying at all.
This will be a good year for the Oscars, movie-wise. A lot
of the contenders have excelled in all fronts and it promises to be an
interesting race. I mean, the worst of the nominated films I have seen is the
Joker and that is still quite good. I will swallow my bitterness about the lack
of a host and enjoy as much of the ceremony as I can. Hopefully Amy Poehler,
Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph will save the day for the second year in a row with a
short monologue that they could easily have performed as hosts. But sure, the
ceremony might be ten minutes shorter.
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