Stumbled onto Batman Replacement Rumours

I hope people are not expecting sound arguments and objective viewpoints. This is a blog, it’s obviously not going to happen.

Nonetheless, let’s start with something objective. The DCEU is in shambles. We have not seen a copycat this bad since Justin Bieber. There have been five movies in this universe with four having flopped both commercially and critically and one having soared; I guess kudos for that one. There are so many problems with their movies and Warner Bros is in damage control mode, so I understand that changes are discussed. But those changes should NOT be Batman!

Those changes should perhaps be Snyderisms.

This is a bold way to start a blog post, but here it goes. Is anyone satisfied with Snyder’s take on the DCEU? Man of Steel was boring, Batman v Superman was terrible and Justice League was abysmal. I know people are now asking for Zack Snyder’s cut for Justice League and blame the mess on Joss Whedon and I have to ask; really? The guy that made Avengers is to blame? The way I see it, Warner Bros decided Batman v Superman was good enough to show the world. They, however decided Justice League was not. I do not want to know what was presented that made them go ‘This is not up to Batman v Superman standards’. Joss Whedon was damage control, Snyderisms were the damage.

Those changes should perhaps be chronological.

Let me explain. I have read this on numerous articles, so it is not really an original idea but it is an important one. The MCU worked so well because it introduced most characters before bringing them all together. That is, independent movies first, fun collaboration later. Batman is a complex character, the best there is! So, why is our first introduction to this new version of Batman alongside Superman and Wonder Woman? And let’s say that this decision was based on the previous Batman installations being quite recent. What about the Flash? Cyborg? Aquaman? Why did we have to meet all of them, resurrect Superman, forgive Batman, travel to Themiscyra, AND defeat a villain in one movie? Of course it’s not going to be any good! All I know about this Flash is that he needs a lot of pizza to function.  And I generally love the Flash, I’d love to know all about this one.

Those changes should perhaps be the villains.

There. I said it. Everyone complains about MCU villains, well, it’s time you listened to what we have to say about DCEU villains. They suck! And their CGI sucks! And their plans suck! They suck, I say! General Zod was good, but I think the real villain in Man of Steel is the casting director that selected Amy Adams as Lois. As wonderful as an actress she is, she looks like Henry Cavill’s aunt Sybill (which might explain why he has to go save her every four minutes). Lex Luthor was The Riddler on cocaine and his plan was idiotic (and you know it). Doomsday was an extraterrestial Flubber and literally nothing more. Like, nothing. He is not an interesting villain even after killing Superman, the man that cannot die. I have not mentioned Wonder Woman because it was a beautiful movie, but I will now; because Ares was not a good villain. First of all, professor Remus Lupin is not a villain! Another swing-and-a-miss for the casting director. Secondly, when revealed as a villain he became CGI. It’s almost like a virus in the DC universe. The enchantress was just weird and not the good kind. Actually, I cannot talk about Suicide Squad, I will pretend it never happened and hope DC does too. Which brings us to Justice League with… that… guy… with…CGI from five years ago… and the boxes? That’s all I got.

Those changes should perhaps be the godawful little details.

‘Here in the DCEU we will spend 25 million to ruin rather than fix the small details that make modern superhero movies blockbuster material’. I am, of course, referring to Henry Cavill’s CGI upper lip. Maybe it was kept as a distraction from the poor plot and dialogues. Speaking of dialogues, how did they manage to ruin the ‘Do you bleed?’ line? That was the most badass moment in all five of these instalments! Why repeat it? Why waste its brilliance and downgrade it to a catchphrase? I am going to stop here, because as I am typing I am re-living the frustration I experienced leaving the Justice League theatre. Rest assured, there are numerous small, disturbing details.

Those changes should perhaps NOT be Ben Affleck.

Does anyone remember the outrage when Ben Affleck was cast? I think Trump was more favourable among Hollywood celebrities than Affleck was among comic book fans. And with good reason. No one trusted the man who spoiled the blind defender to play the best hero DC has to offer.  I was part of that outrage; I haven’t been as active on YouTube since. And then the trailer for Batman v Superman came out and everybody, including yours truly, shut up. We all agreed that we had been biased and harsh and wrong and Ben Affleck was the Batman he needed to be for this depiction of old man Batman. And that it the last piece of positive feedback DC got until Wonder Woman came out! So stick to your guns! You showed us up and good for you, you fought hard and won!

It’s not just the trailer. The only good thing about Batman v Superman WAS Batman! He had sound motivation to hate Superman, reasonable reactions to what was happening, a heroic yet ruthless manner that Batman is known for and kickass fight scenes! Such. Good. Fight scenes, oh, they were beautiful! Ben Affleck is a great Bruce Wayne, a tough vigilante and can keep his lips shut (that one is for all the Christian Bale fans). His character development was good, unlike anything else in that film regarding either character or development. Okay. His character development was good, until Martha. Whoever greenlighted that Martha thing was a complete idiot. But I think Ben Affleck is the best 40-year-old, run-down, bitter Batman we could get. Justice League gave him one-liners and a lover’s quarrel with Wonder Woman; admittedly we did not get the best depiction of Batman. But it’s not just Ben Affleck; Gal Gadot, the amazing lead from Wonder Woman’s solo movie, was reimagined as a heartbroken heroine with a flirty smirk. Jason Momoa’s script was reduced to videogame combo exclamations (Yeah! My man!). All characters were treated badly and we therefore struggled to see good performances, but Affleck’s work as Batman is admirable when the material allows it.

Wow that was long! And this is the cut version. If you want to read the whole three-hour-long post about everything that is wrong with DCEU, blame Joss Whedon; that always seems to make sense.