Stumbled onto tonsillitis

 

I have a rhetorical question for you; is tonsillitis ever fun? No, nothing that ends in –itis is. Let’s just say any word that is still visibly Latin is probably a bad thing. However, something being timelessly bad does not mean it cannot be worse under certain circumstances. Like to a hypochondriac during the Covid pandemic. Like during the weekend after a strict six-month lockdown. And finally, like during summer.

Thankfully, I do not get sick much, because if I did, I think I would most likely end up like Chuck McGill from Better Call Saul. Hopefully still using electricity though, because I cannot imagine social seclusion with no Netflix. Also, for a hypochondriac I did mostly keep calm up until, well, the apocalypse. I would medicate, eat soup and greens, avoid others and allow myself to indulge in whatever TV show has a dreamy, male antihero. In other words, pretty much have a good time, all things considered. But I have gotten sick three times during Covid and none have been dealt with in a calm and dignified manner. First of all, none of those times was I seriously sick. I got some light fever and other cold-like symptoms and, this very last time, swollen tonsils the size of plums. All three of these times I swore it was Covid. All three of these times I called the relevant health lines, begged them to diagnose me as Corona positive just to rid myself of the doubts, where they very kindly explained to me that paranoia is not a Covid symptom and I should stop calling. So apart from the obvious ridicule I have been wilfully subjecting myself to, it has also gotten a lot more expensive for me to get sick. For example, I went straight for a private PCR test, which are of no negligible cost, but results are available the following day. In the meantime, I was getting suspicious that the swollen tonsils might be tonsillitis (I do solve crimes in my free time, if you were wondering) and wanted to visit a GP. Therefore, in anticipation of my PCR results I thought it best to waste additional money on a self-test, because I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I felt I could have possibly endangered the good doctor that would confirm my detective work.

Sickness also sucks just a little bit extra after a lockdown. Even the least social of us want to go out, let out some steam, put on lipstick for someone other than the inside of a face mask to see, have a drink, have a bite even. Getting sick gets in the way of that. My tonsils were thoughtful enough though to make me feel as if I didn’t want to do any of the aforementioned things anyway, in order for my psyche to remain intact, I guess. Internal organs are considerate like that. Other than the obviously cancelled plans for those first strugglesome days, I was also put on antibiotics for as long as ten days! That is ten alcohol-free days that I was looking forward to spending, at the very least, as tipsy! At least, my swollen tonsils are just that; mine, so I can carry my pain around without sharing.

Again, I am sure tonsillitis is horrible the whole year round. It is just that the warm tea, which is the first line of defence for any self-respecting Greek, is not as enjoyable in the summer. Sweat is not very pleasant, so drinking something that somehow resembles it is, let’s say, counterintuitive. I know that ice-cream during winter somehow works, but that is a one way street, trust me. Funny thing about that is, an English friend of mine informed me that their remedy for tonsillitis actually involves ice-cream or anything freezing for that matter. You’d think we’d get the ice-cream remedy and leave the lukewarm liquid for them Englishmen up north but apparently not. We want to hoard all the warmth for ourselves, even if it is incredibly unpleasant.

This post is what I would call a filler. Seeing that I am halfway through a lot of pop culture things, I couldn’t think of a post that would make sense now rather than later. On the other hand, I do have a bet with myself to put these posts up weekly for 2021, so I decided to write up my most recent endeavour. Why should you suffer through an irrelevant post, you might wonder. Well, think of it this way; boredom is better than tonsillitis. Although, frequently adjacent.