I did it! This post is actually pop culture related! This
blog is back on track for a week or so. But I’ll be honest; it’s not looking
good. We are practically re entering a coronavirus lockdown and I might have to
bring back the ‘Blog in the Time of Corona’ series, featuring, Leyla, cats and
awkward social norms.
I woke up with a relatively positive mood. I say relatively
because (1) I woke up with an alarm, which is never a good start to the day, (2)
we are indeed entering a semi-lockdown, (3) Greece just went through an
earthquake, and (4) I run out of pretty face masks. However, I somehow managed
to be optimistic about my day; made a nice breakfast, had a pleasant workout,
and took Leyla for a walk. That is until my friend messaged me about the new
David Bowie biopic, ‘Stardust’. And now my day is ruined. But every ruined day
is a good day to write on my blog.
I haven’t met anyone who does not love David Bowie. Anyone I
still talk to, that is. I think it is rare for someone so particular to be so
universally loved. Not unheard of, but surely rare. His creativity was out of
this world. His music was intelligent and methodical, but also honest and
ground-breaking. His appearance was definitive, his whole persona was
unapologetic and he was distinguished by his incomformity. He was more than a
musician; he was a concept artist. He adopted so many forms and yet retained a British,
beautifully twisted core throughout. So I would love to ask the executives
behind the biopic; who thought it was a good idea to have a conventional biopic
for such an unconventional man?
This is not a recent question; I do not understand how this
was the case for Freddie Mercury, or Elton John either. I am starting to feel
this is good indication of how Hollywood cannot begin to comprehend British
culture. In their defence, I still don’t quite understand how they turned baked
beans into a junk food. For the past three years, we have taken a look at norm-breaking,
extravagant artists from such a conservative lens. I understand that mainstream
usually means more money, but then Bowie wasn’t mainstream and I think he ended
up pretty rich. I actually really like Johnny Flynn and thought he would be a
good fit, as he is up-and-coming and a musician himself. Also, I see the
resemblance. But this tiny glimpse into his Bowie felt nothing but flat and, as
the Guardian effectively stated, a portrayal of Noel Fielding/Eddie Izzard
rather than the Starman. It might be unfair to judge a movie that has not come
out yet; it is unfair to be that predisposed from a trailer. But trailers are
meant to entice you to see a movie and right now I have lost all faith in
cinema. For like a day. I’ll be back.
It is not just the trailer. It is its predecessors. It is
Bohemian Rhapsody. The best thing about that movie were the songs. Actually,
that is not fair; I was obviously not expecting some aspect of the movie to surpass
the songs. This was actually a poor attempt of mine to be a bit less negative.
What I meant to say is the ONLY good thing about that movie were the songs.
Okay, maybe the Live Aid scene as well, which was shockingly faithful to the
actual show. While this reproduction was a cinematic feat and good for them,
the very essence of Freddie Mercury was excluded from the movie. Mercury was
larger than life and out of control, he was putting on a very certain face for
society, but at the same was deeply hurt by the world. And someone thought this
is a story that Bryan Singer should direct! I am not even referring to the fact
that he apparently is a shit of a human being; if I have understood the
timeline correctly, he made the movie prior to his shittidness being public
knowledge. I am merely saying his movies are of a very certain genre; the ‘well-made,
but nothing special’ genre. I also mean no disrespect to Rami Malek; I think he
did what he was asked to do brilliantly, and acting with these ridiculous prosthetic
teeth was probably worthy of an Oscar in itself. But I can relate to what Sacha
Baron Cohen expected when he was originally offered the part and left the movie
because it was so tame. I cannot believe it. They made a tame movie about Queen
and named it Bohemian Rhapsody; the rural poster song of Rock Opera
Extravaganza!
Also, is it possibly time to rethink the whole concept of a
biopic all together? I understand the appeal, and it is sometimes done
beautifully. It seems the fewer details we have about a figure’s personality
the more interesting the portrayal. Maybe it is the fact that we have heard so
much about Bowie and Mercury and John’s personal lives, we have so many
examples of their manner on film and while all artists are of valour, there is
something special about what musicians mean to us, I find. We therefore, as an
audience, have a very consolidated idea of who they were and, dare I say, a
more three-dimensional one than that included in these biopics. Is there really
much interest in a chronological account of all the facts we already know about
these people, with the simple addition of beautiful actors and good lighting? Maybe
it is; if amateur porn has taught us anything is that beautiful actors and good
lighting are important.
I was so annoyed with Bohemian Rhapsody and it even won four
Academy Awards. I am worried I will need a tranquilizer to watch this movie;
they haven’t even been allowed to include any of Bowie’s music. This is
certainly a twist from mainstream practices of music biopics; have the main
character mime his way through his career. Maybe not the twist I was referring
to, but a twist nonetheless. The Bowie family is not happy with it (which I
guess explains the lack of Bowie’s music), the fans aren’t happy with the
trailer, and as executives are more susceptible to Twitter criticism as of late,
for better (see Sonic the Hedgehog) or worse (see my post about Justice
League), maybe we can hope for the Labyrinth inspired movie about Ziggy we
deserve. At least there is an excellent ‘Stardust’ movie we can depend on from
Matthew Vaughn that treated Neil Gaiman’s novel with respect. And an array of
beautiful movies with the actual David Bowie. And… Zoolander. Nobody’s film
career is perfect.
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