Stumbled onto Marvel’s amazing soundtracks

I recently watched Captain Marvel, the first standalone film with a female protagonist in the MCU. Not Marvel, because Marvel made Elektra, even though we are all trying to forget. This movie could have a lot of hype; first female protagonist, Oscar-winning actress, one of the most powerful heroes in the MCU, young Samuel L. Jackson and so on. However, when half of our beloved characters have ceased to exist, a mad titan has won against our heroes and we are probably going to see the noble Captain America die in the next film, all the potential Captain Marvel hype is just not there. But to be fair this was an okay movie. It was enjoyable, the CGI to de-age SLJ did what Justice League could not do to Henry Cavil’s moustache and the characters were a bit flat but likeable. And the best part? The soundtrack. The full-on 90’s, girl empowerment, grunge soundtrack for the first female superhero movie set in the 90’s.

It is not the first time we have had a successful nostalgic soundtrack in the MCU. James Gunn (rehired, #JusticeforGunn) did it amazingly by creating a Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack so fine and fun, we would take it without the movie. Good songs that tied in as whole and related to the story. All songs were roughly from the 70’s because that is when the protagonist, Peter Quill, received the Awesome Mix Vol. 1 mixtape from his dying mother. The songs were therefore emotionally tied in to the story and made sense plotwise. But that is not all; they tied in to the scenes as well. This was a comedy disguised as a superhero movie and the songs were giving the scenes an essential light touch. They weren’t complementary to the scenes, they were integral. And that in turn did justice to popular, adored songs.

Captain Marvel’s soundtrack has not caused the same uproar, but man did I feel like wearing brown lipliner, thinning my brows and trying to dress like Kate Moss (for the unaware, these were all 90’s trends). A bit of Salt-N-Peppa for the fun, a bit of Nirvana for the grunge and a bit of Hole, Garbage and No Doubt for that girl-power grunge-pop aesthetic. It never felt out of touch; Brie was only happy when it rains, sporting a leather jacket on a stolen motorcycle and that made a filler scene feel complete. Plus not one, but two R.E.M. songs, including Man on the Moon, which felt so utterly appropriate. While not as awesome as the sensibly named Awesome Mix, this is another Spotify playlist to follow.

 It seems the world was shocked by how good the first Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack was (second one was not too shabby either), and superhero movies tried to implement nostalgic playlists into their movies. Captain Marvel, in my opinion, did it very well. You know who did not though? DC! Right after Guardians of the Galaxy was released and these relatively unknown superheroes got so much attention and praise, DC’s dark antihero movie ‘Suicide Squad’ went back into the editing room with many reshoots to fit this more fun and wacky attitude people seemed to enjoy. And therefore the next trailer is Harley Quinn, Deadshot and whichever other forgettable character was in the movie doing bad guy stuff with ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ playing. ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, a king of songs. A song so big, it got its own movie. Problem is, it did not work. Neither did ‘Seven Nation’s Army’ or ‘You Don’t Own Me’ or ‘Without ME’ or any of them. And this is a typical case of DC misunderstanding what worked and why. You don’t only need epic songs; you need epic songs that continue from one another, tie into the scene, tie into the plot. In other words, you need to do these epic songs justice, think them through rather than have them as accessories. In one, simple sentence, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is a flamboyant masterpiece, not a clickbait prop.

 Good news is James Gunn is doing the next Suicide Squad movie (at the time of this blogpost) so we can hope for a good soundtrack. Even better news is that he was rehired by Marvel for the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, so we can hope for an even better soundtrack. The best news is that while DC got it wrong, another Marvel director got it right, so we can hope for amazing soundtracks for many superhero movies to come. 

Stumbled onto a facial

For a few years now, makeup has received unprecedented attention and therefore makeup artists are now more common than baristas and overdone brows is the 2010’s epidemic. But even more recently the focus has been switched to skincare, for which my knowledge is basic but my interest growing. For example, my dedication to sun protection comes from Charlize Theron who named it the single most important thing in skin care. Have you seen her face? Also, have you spoken to a dermatologist? Wear sunblock! Ready for more skincare advice from our pop culture icons, I enthusiastically began my research. But I soon realised that spreading your own blood (vegan) across your face (a la Kardashian) is a piece of advice I’d rather not follow.

A couple of more celebrity beauty routines just for fun. Demi Moore favours blood sucking leeches to detoxify. It is an excellent alternative to green tea, which is diuretic. You wouldn’t want to risk having too much potassium in your blood for those poor leeches. Victoria Beckham (you know whatever is coming next is good) prefers bird poo. And all this time we were ignorantly scraping it off our cars, poor birds were only doing us a favour. While on the subject of poo, haemorrhoid cream is apparently better than concealer for those under-eye bags. Sandra Bullock was as surprised as we are. And of course, we have to mention the queen of unconventional beauty, Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth is all about fair trade; if you want to take from the lower end, you have to give back. Jade eggs and vagina steamers. I think it is pretty clear by now, Gwyneth Paltrow always wanted to be a farm bird; lay her eggs and become a high-protein, low-fat meal.

But as sane, everyday people would not drain their blood for a facial, the obvious solution is creating blood moisturisers that cost 1000 dollars. Or, you know, promote six step skincare routines for morning and evening, including serums and face yoga classes. That sounds like fun actually and preferable to any other yoga I have tried. And then celebrities endorse L’Oreal skincare and do a bunch of ads. But as Nikki Glaser very accurately said, whatever affordable skin care Jennifer Aniston promotes, she wouldn’t even use on her poo-poo hole. And yes, I am aware that there is an excrement pattern throughout the text, but that was not my decision. Skincare is getting insanely popular, specialised and expensive. And then when La Roche-Poche does not give you radiant cheekbones they can blame it on the clay you don’t eat (not kidding, a spoonful of clay per day keeps the aesthetician away, according to Shaeiline Woodley).

I remember boys thought it was weird when we put yogurt on our face as a DIY mask. I am sure yogurt sounds pretty normal now, eh? And ineffective, I mean if yogurt could do the trick, why chase down birds and feed them prunes? Or at least that is how I inmagine Victoria Beckham spends her day. I am assuming this entry has been no help other than putting you off your lunch so I am just going to end by promoting the absolute basics. Wear lots of water and drink lots of sunscreen. Or the other way around, whatever works for you.