I have to admit that I get vegans. I think they are in the
right and everyone who is trying to counterweight their arguments while living
and feasting in a western culture is wrong. Having said that, I could never be
one because I am a selfish person who likes cheese-based food too much and
bacon-based food enough to refuse to give it up. This, I guess, makes me the
worst kind of carnivore; the one that would ethically agree with vegans but
then ignore the ‘murdering-animals-for-bacon’ bit because it’s tasty. You can
see a pattern forming here, a bacon pattern. Having said that, I do actively
try to lessen my meat consumption and for about a week per year, this week, I
try to eliminate my animal product consumption. Including cheese. And bacon.
Day 1: Day one is exciting because you get to buy
stuff. Shopping at the supermarket counts as shopping. The plan is to make a large pot of butternut squash soup to eat for about three-four days because eating
vegan from outside is expensive and I need to keep the rest of my day’s pace
quick so I don’t get distracted by the fact that I can’t eat all of the things
I love. Good soup though.
Day 2: Soup is also good when cold! Doesn’t keep
you not hungry for long though… This is why you snack! Snacks don’t keep you
not hungry for long though… This is why you nap! Add an Avocado and hummus
sandwich to the mix and all is good. And then have your housemate eat the same
thing plus halloumi cheese just to rub it in your face. The bastard.
Day 3: Good day! Falafel box! If you’re not eating
cheese and you are not eating eegs and you’re not eating chocolate (side
note: dark chocolate is what I imagine biting into your toe tastes like), you
can at least eat fried stuff! I think this could potentially work.
Day 4: Back to soup. And cucumber sticks with
hummus. Day four was long and painful. I stole my housemate’s leftover pasta
which was plain, but may have had butter. I will believe it did not and that
butter-less pasta tastes amazing! No, this does not count as a failure.
Day 5: Have you ever wondered what pasta Napolitan
tastes like without cheese? Me neither. Not worth it.
Day 6: Okay, vegans have won this battle. Vegan
pancakes are actually very tasty! And as long as maple syrup is made from
trees, this is something I can get behind! Note to self: should check if the
rest of that soup is still edible.
Day 7: It’s fine! I mean it is the same soup for
the fourth day in the same week so I hate it by now, but no micro-organisms have
colonised my soup. Also, olive paste is vegan so that was a nice addition to my
day. But the best addition to my day? Tomorrow I am eating a juicy, bacon
burger with Parmesan fries and milk chocolate. The milk chocolate will be eaten
separately.
Honestly, it was fine. I did sniff my housemate’s chocolate
bar a couple of times, but who hasn’t? Maybe I left the room when he made a
cheese toastie but like, once. Admittedly, all of the food was tasty, a lot of
it was filling (the falafel box was the champion, I even had to split in two meals)
and I got to experiment with something other than pasta carbonara recipes. I am
still convinced that cheese is essential to my survival and I am aware that
this is a minor achievement (it was only seven days) but bear in mind that I
really love cheese. People bring me cheese as a gift. I am not exaggerating. It
happens a lot! From different people! Anyways, i learnt of new meals I can incorporate into my diet, it was a fun challenge and for me the reward was bacon. Oh, the irony.
